I Was A Frigid Wife or How My Husband Saved Our Relationship

Okay, I'll admit it. I was beyond cold. Some might even call it frigid. (I know I would.) My husband saved our marriage and my sanity with a $3.00 purchase. What kind of device could possibly do so much to improve my life? Well, I'll tell you. He surprised me with an air deflector! What a sweetheart! I've never loved him more...

Early this summer we had central air installed. Great - our family has finally come into the new millennium. It was awesome for about the first 15 minutes until I started growing an icicle mustache (I might have a few stray hairs growing under my nose). Anyway, my family thinks that the ideal temperature in the house is a brisk 72 degrees. I know 72 doesn't sound low, but think of this. The vents are in our ceiling. I usually spend my time on the loveseat in my bedroom (directly under the vent) or actually in bed (again, directly under the vent). Central air that has been chilled to 72 degrees is freezing when it is blowing right on you! I could cut glass with my nipples. I had to be careful doing my hair in the morning because I actually scratched the mirror a couple of times (with my rock hard nips)! I have been freezing since that fateful day. I have been wearing house slippers constantly, no more bare feet for me. Once those footsies got cold, they never got warm. I wore socks to bed with one sheet, two quilts, one bedspread, and a throw on top of me. (I am not kidding.) The boys kept telling me I needed to go to the doctor because something was obviously wrong with me.

The other day MOMD came home and told me he has a surprise for me! I love surprises. When he showed me what it was (an air deflector), I didn't understand the magnitude of the purchase. My sweet husband climbed up on a chair, put the air deflector over the vent and now the freezing air is directed into the room and not onto me. My life and our relationship have improved significantly. I can now read in my loveseat and not even have a blanket OR slippers on. I think the best part though is that I no longer feel like a bear in hibernation under all my covers. Last night I think I even was a little hot ...

Too Many Emotions - (Sappy Post Warning)

I don't know what's been going on this past week but it has been one of emotional extremes for me. I learned a sweet friend has pancreatic cancer, I went to another friend's funeral (who was only 14 years older than I am), and I'm overly worried about the state of the world.

In spite of these tragic events and concerns, my life is full of joy. I am thankful that I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I feel as if my testimony is stronger now than ever and I guard it close to my heart. I hope I won't do anything to jeopardize it.

At the funeral of my friend (a woman from the ward I grew up in who had been my neighbor and my teacher throughout the years) I was impressed when her son said he was proud to consider himself a "mama's boy". As a mother of sons that touched me. I was also deeply touched at the feeling of homecoming ... not because I was in my old ward (because the funeral was in a building I had never been in), but because there were so many familiar, smiling faces. Even though we were gathered for a sad occasion, we were pleased to be together. These were not friends my age for the most part, but older members of the neighborhood and ward who had watched me grow up through the years. These were my friends' parents. It was so satisfying to meet up with these friends and catch up on old times. Many of them had been my leaders throughout the years. They'll never know the impact they had on me and the fact that they remembered me (sometimes with a little prompting) pleased me to no end.

This week I also heard the story of a "prodigal son" returning. This "son" is a friend of FOS and a great kid from a great family. He lost his footing along the way and made many unwise choices (like so many of us). His mom talked to me about how she was so grateful that he had found his way; he is graduating from college next week with plans to go on to graduate school and he has married a sweet girl who loves him for who he is. He has realized what is important to him and what is not. My heart was full for their family.

Overall I guess it just boils down to me being thankful that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. No matter what situation I find myself in I'm finding everything is centered around my Father in Heaven. What a great comfort that is!

I'm A Star!

Today the ladies in my ward went to GOOD THINGS UTAH, so I tagged along. I took my Aunt Lou with me because she is fun and is agreeable to doing things with me (MOMD probably pays her to take some of the pressure off of him). It was really fun and I got to be on TV! (More on that later ...)

The studio is much smaller than it looks on TV and the ladies on the show are very thin. Even all the little helper girls are very thin and cute too, wearing stylish clothes (high, high heels with shorts - you know, the shorts that are to the knees but shorter than capris?) and everyone had full MAKEUP on (I'm not talking mascara, I'm talking the whole kit and kaboodle). What's up with that? I felt like Betty the Cavewoman.

Anyway, the host ladies were very nice, the announcer was very nice (I sat right in front of where he stood to announce) and the guests were fun. Our main guests were Troy and Gabriella from High School Musical (playing at the Capitol Theater). I don't know their real names and I'm not even sure if that's their HSM names ... I have never seen HSM! They were both cute. While we were waiting outside the studio (notice how I've already picked up on the TV lingo by saying "studio") we saw Joy from Joy in the Morning get out of her car and walk in (she said "hi" to us - and I think she noticed that I have great "stage presence" - I hope she also noticed how good I looked on camera) and we also saw the chef from Grand America get out of his car, but he didn't say anything to us (he drove a Hummer).

We got some free stuff too. We got two tickets to the Parade of Homes (also good for free admittance to Hogle Zoo and This is the Place State Park), a recipe for Peach Pot Pie (looked yummy when they made it), and also a Breast Cancer Awareness Key Chain. We made out like fat rats! See my stash in the picture below.

And now, here's what you've all been waiting for ... drum roll please ... Can you see me in the top corner (I'm the one that looks like a seal). That's Aunt Lou next to me. Look how much fun we're having! Excuse the quality of the pictures because I left my camera in the car, so this picture was taken off the TV (yes, I recorded it just in case I was on). Even with the poor quality, I think I look stunning!(?)

Here is a better close up of me below. That's my shoulder! I've never looked better - oh wait - is that a roll of fat? (The cute lady below my shoulder was being shown because it was her birthday. I go visiting teaching to her. She is a doll, as you can see.)

It was fun and I'd do it again (especially with the free stuff - doesn't Oprah give out cars?)!

As a side note - would someone please buy me a thesaurus ... look how many times I said the words cute and fun in this post. I guess you can't have brains and beauty ...

50 Going on 12 ...

My mother-in-law (Carol) got four tickets to the Pioneer Day Celebration at the Conference Center with the Tabernacle Choir and ... the OSMONDS. MOMD, my Aunt Lou, Carol, and I went last night. I'm not sure if anyone recognizes the significance having the OSMONDS and me in the same location. Let me give you a little history ...

When I was in sixth grade/seventh grade (early, early 70's for all you young punks out there) I fell in love. I didn't know and hadn't met MOMD yet (and wouldn't for two more years), so it was okay. The person I fell in love with was Donny Osmond. I'm not talking infatuation. I'm not talking a crush. I am talking almost-TRUE LOVE. I surrendered myself to intense study, learning everything I could about my almost-TRUE LOVE. I learned all the important facts regarding him (favorite color: purple; always wore purple socks ... isn't that adorable?), collected all the photos I could, and made a shrine in my bedroom dedicated solely to Donny.

Here is an example of one of my encyclopedias of love.


One time the Osmonds were in concert at the Salt Palace (a different Salt Palace than the one we have now - this was a long time ago) and fans were lined up forever to get tickets. My brother had a hockey game scheduled that morning at the Salt Palace so we got to walk right through the doors. I started BEGGING my mom to let me buy tickets but, of course, she wouldn't let me. She was SO mean. (My 50-year-old self realizes now that it wouldn't have been very fair to jump into line ahead of all those other so-called fans but who cared about them?)

We always water skiied at Pineview Reservoir in those days and the Osmonds had a home right on the water. My constant daydream was that I would be water skiing by their home and have a nasty fall. Our boat would have to take me to the Osmond's home for medical attention. Of course then I would meet Donny and he would fall in love with me and we'd live happily ever after. I am not even kidding about this daydream. What kind of demented person was/am I?

Did I mention that sometimes I cried when Donny sang "Puppy Love" on the radio because I was so in love with him? True story.

Fast forward my life to last night. I did not realize that I was still in love with Donny. The crazy part was that I (my 50-year-old self) was not in love with the 50-year-old Donny (who is a grandpa). Somehow last night I was transported back to my early years (possible Conference Center time machine?). As soon as the brothers started singing "Down By the Lazy River" I started bouncing up and down in my seat. I got happy feet and my hands starting clapping. I think I may even have squealed! The Donny highlight of the night was when he sang "Puppy Love" to me. I almost started crying. I am not kidding! (Donny and I were finally together!) I heard other women around me swoon and squeal, but they were love amateurs compared to the deep feelings I had/have.

The concert ended, and the time machine transported me back to being 50. MOMD was still the man of my dreams. Weird - it wasn't really Donny after all (who may dye his hair). All in all, the entire night was wonderful. I love the MoTabs! I love the Osmonds! I love Pioneer Day! What a great night!

One Project A YEAR

Okay - since I want to follow exactly in my good friend Gail's footsteps, and since she is starting "One Project A Year", I decided I needed to do it too. I guess the idea came from some over-achieving scrapbook guru who challenged herself to one project A MONTH that needed to be accomplished. As Gail (and I) found out, one project A YEAR is plenty.

So here was my plan. My big boys needed window screens on their bedroom windows. I called the window store and asked how much it would cost. They said if they came out to my house and measured it would be $50 for the measurement alone plus the cost of making the screen. I looked on the Internet and read how EASY it was to make your own screen, so, of course, that's what I decided to do.

I convinced FOS that it would be a really fun activity and something we could do together. We needed to take a measurement first. The first obstacle was the window well filled with spiders and all kinds of creepy crawlies. FOS was more of a girl than I was. We also had to fight through the mounds of stuff in his room in front of his window. We finally got the measurements for the window and I headed off to Home Depot. Look what I found! EASY TO BUILD WINDOW SCREEN! It has to be easy - it says so on the packaging! I'm in luck. (Of course I wanted to do this without MOMD so he would be proud of me when he came home from work ...)FOS wielded the hacksaw (as needed per instructions) and we (he) sawed our window frame to the exact size. We put the frame together (it fit like a charm) and set it into the window to check for fit. It was a titch too big. Okay, no problem. We pulled it apart, measured the amount we needed to take off and sawed again. Good job FOS! We again put the frame together and checked for fit. It was still a little big. By this time (about two hours after our start time) FOS had had about as much fun as he could take and he suggested waiting for MOMD to get home from work.

When MOMD got home, he rolled his eyes (I can't imagine why he would do that) and said we'd work on it another day. (I'm not sure he understood the concept of having the project done THIS year - as per scrapbooking guru.)

A couple of days later I suggested (nagged) about the screen and everybody jumped on the task. MOMD took new measurements, found that we were just a slight bit off and the frame would just need to be sawed again.

Here is the progress as it unfolded. This is MOMD AFTER he took the measurements and sawed a bit of the frame off. He is putting the frame together before fitting it to the window.

Whoops! It was just a bit too big (for the fourth time) so here's MOMD sawing some off. Note the concentration ...

Guess what? The frame fit the window. Now it's time to put in the screen. Here's MOMD putting in the spline (window word meaning ... oh, who cares?). FOS is standing nearby helping but he didn't want his picture taken.

And now, the finished product! Look at the satisfaction (or is that a grimace) on MOMD's face! He is amazing!

I'm thinking of posting these informative pictures/instructions on YouTube so everyone else can make their own new window screens. The only problem with YouTube is that I wouldn't be able to edit the swearing and dirty looks I received as I helped with this project. By the time it was finished, we were all so tired that we couldn't do any more so FYS won't get a new screen for his window at this time. Maybe that's a project for ANOTHER YEAR!